ladies) are only few things i learned. The Trump followers (make America Great Again) are feeling marginalized. You asked why he won’t be direct and tell you if he doesn’t want you anymore. mybe if we continue and i marry him for four months weve known together i believe its not enough for us to know each other well. Maybe you were just sharing with us, which is okay too. we found love beyond the wall of marriage, we became family , brother and sister in Islam, helping with finacial needs, helping me to grow in islam as well, this family is the best thing that ever happend to me since i lost my parents and am very proud of what they are doing in Allah’s name, mostly the Mrs Hamza, she’s such a wonderful lady i ever meet in whole of my life and journey in life. I then heard it again from that Anthony Scaramucchi, (the former US White House Communications Director). Is he stupid? You can look that word up online. So, you tell me what part of it you don’t get. Anyway, he sent me the nurde photo the second time and he claimed that he didn’t mean to send it. There needs to be more information out there online about awareness to help educate women on the problems they could encounter from seeking love online. He also tell me that if he dont really love me why would he disclose me to his family ,friends, and work mates. I advise anyone wanting to marry a Pakistani Bangladeshi or Indian to find out as much as you can about the future husbands family especially if he has married brothers and sisters and if they married cousin. Stay strong and more power to you all. He has personality disorder, he doesn’t have empathy. From what u have said this man seems to be married.Ho in the world did u travel to Pakistan and not meet his family?Where did u stay? Then they hypocritically go get themselves married in arranged marriages. Meena said she learned about his culture and religion through reading. It’s messed up. So next time be cautious and vigilant as well so that you won’t break your heart this much. Ummof4, my apology for using harsh terminologies for the ladies am referring to. The majority of Pakistani people mate with their own people. According to the data of Mixed Marriage Community (Marrying Pakistani). She says that the man is her boyfriend whom she met in Australia. It’s just a matter of “acceptance” in order for us to easily move on. In some cases it turned out to be a nightmare for the non-Pakistani wives with a lot of drama conflict same like in Indian movie. He begging for skype as well , and we do skype. My uncle (Dad’s brother) actually lives in Pakistan and has two wives as well. In addition according to statistics data, 70-90% women in Pakistan have got domestic violence. He is Christan not Muslim. No way, Jose. you should highlight this. Can you imagine? All rights reserved. With regards to the evidences, I have few evidences with me but those were the sensitive one. So I couldn’t read them, anyway theywere mix Urdu and English. Additionally, tell him that you will post the pics of your vacation on the Facebook page as well, when you announce your and his engagement. Some religious marriage contracts (depending on the country, as some countries don’t have a religious marriage contract but more an equally benefical civil contract) even grant women many rights but are generally crossed out without consent from the brides by the cleric performing the nuptials. They traditionally marry their own people and in seeing that you are not Pakistani, it may present a problem for you and him. I can definitely do everything for her, we just met online, we have LDR for more than a year…I stopped talking to her because she said I should stop wasting my time to her because there’s no possibility for us to be together… I was broken.. Have you imagined if you are in that Pakistani wife position? Pakistani man is always right the women are always wrong! Don’t be stupid enough when it comes to him. So nothing to regret! This cellphone is so annoying. Women need to stop believing everything a stranger they met on the internet says. The longer you continue to deal with him the longer you will agonize about the situation. You writing in as you did helps tremendously. Love isn’t the be all and end all in a marriage; although it helps to have love. (Read more about clan and caste here :Caste and Clan in Pakistan. He then bring her to the United States to live till death do us part. Besides, Allah tells us that men are the maintainers and protectors of women. One thing you should show him strength, bold, straightforward, and frank if needed. There are several more family friends we have in Pakistan with similar polygyny stories. It’s their culture. an American Muslim woman living in the US in a polygamous marriage in the 21st century. NEWS FLASH! I have taken one Pakistan number that he frequently calling and i don’t know if that number is from his wife or his mom. Alhamdulillah that Muslim women are supposed to have walees/ wakeels for marriage. Your “Pakistani boyfriend” has shown you his true colors-his true self, but you don’t want to believe it. You don’t deserve him instead you should be thankful that you don’t marry him coz you will be in a disaster. ??? @Jasmina, I was born a muslim and I thought the same thing, rofl. He insisted to go for vacay even though May is my birth month (though they are not observing birthdays). What if he is actually already married or engaged? He immediately started asking about visa to come to America so he can work and earn a living to provide for us. My family is also Pakistani and it’s weird cause I’ve seen the opposite to reaction to polygyny growing up. It’s what he does. There’ll be more deaths from botched illegal abortions. I guess I am already there (Trapped)? I don’t remember blocking him at all but we stopped contacting each other. Maybe some others here could input, if it pleases God. Do you really believe everything he says? In my opinion, success of places like Singapore & Dubai has lot to do with the fact that most employees put in a good day's work. He started checking my call logs, viber messages, whatsapp, fb messenger and other apps. It’s just the beginning of answering what is wrong with the Ummah. He went for vacay in Pakistan and was so upset when i saw his returned flight is 2 days after my birthday (he stayed 18 days in Pakistan). Are you ready for this? In other words, I think the risk of marrying a Pakistan man is the the same risk as marrying an American or Western man. He says she can’t take care of herself and he must stay with her forever. What you’ve written about the races and dating is way interesting. He backed off and told me that he’ll obey my order. Only because he wants to meet with me. Every one who has advised you really know what they’re talking about and I would STRONGLY recommend you dump this relationship for your own well-being. The believers of other religion also live in Pakistan including Christians and Hindus. Do you need to be a member. If you have any more questions, God willing, don’t hesitate to ask. She also had long conversations about religion perspectives, child parenting, family system and many more before she decided to marry him. I’m a non Pakistani and I married to Pakistani man. I would like to follow the thread of the comments as i have a Pakistani boyfriend and i found him mysterious and strange.. By reading all the comments here, guess i found some answers to my questions. Quickly he started to pressuring me to marrie at least in Islam. All we can give here are just opinions and advises but at the end of the day the decision is still YOURS. then i said see u cant say what u said before u cant do. But using common sense and knowing your rights is important too. Many men do it all the time. If you don’t want to convert to Islam by your heart, he will not marry you. I will live with your pictures and Don’t message my cousin. The typical Pakistani male is raised to believe he is a jewel among mankind and the most amazing thing around. I don’t know if you have kids by another man, he doesn’t want them either. The one who acts and cries is not only your Pakistani man, Maria. SMH Who knows fact from fiction when it comes to that man? There are no guarantees in life, ladies. Thank you for your kind words. You’re only a ticket to “the promised land.” More times than not, they eventually go back to Pakistan and marry a cousin or meet someone else in the States that they really want to be with and divorce the woman who brought who love him and went through hell and high waters to bring him here. I’m from Pakistan and currently an international student in USA. How contradicting his statements are. The difference again is the scam with the Visa. Most prefer to marry within their own ethnicity or white (preferably converted) but often both people must hail from the same village or town back in Palestine and this often is more a parental requirement. Where is your pride? You are a fortunate one You have a child by your husband and you’ve adopted his children. We broke up, because it didn’t work out between us. but in.my mind i know thats his fiance, in picture his father is giving the girl a food to her mouth, and beside her is his mom and niece, i was in good mood before he sent the picture but after i saw my heart beats so fast and i dont know like why why you jave to send this, another picture is his mom is fitting the ring to girl’s finger,and they are smiling, then he said thats the engagement pics my bhabi sent, then i dont knownif im going to be mad, im so hurt that why he have to do that, like he slapped in my face that he has a new fiance, really,i dont know the reason i even didint ask him why he sent it to me i dont want to ask because i dont want him to feel im still hurting, i prrtnede that im okay, then he ask me if i can come to his birthday on nov.7 in dubai, i said why?! They had no idea they were being set up, manipulated and lied to until they’ve become emotionally invested. Aadat ('Habit'), from Pakistani film-maker Iqran Rasheed, takes an intimate and unflinching look at the realities of gay life in South Asia, a region where LGBTQ life remains largely relegated to the shadows. This rare tradition even happened. Be very careful these men cannot only be manipulative but they can be cold blood killers, rapists. They brag about how many women they are chatting with. One of his cousins then called her boyfriend’s mother and his uncle who is the head of their family. She swears at my aunt and calls her and her kids nasty things. Many women are in love with the concept of love. The results of this study, on the contrary, show that Pakistani men report a higher level of lifetime marital physical abuse (49.4%) than Pakistani women do (34%). Eventually he wanted to marry the girl. The rest is on you. You said your family and no one hears you. My black female co workers didn’t mind it either. His charming words and good looks got to me I guess? I asked him, if you knew you couldn’t be equal, then did you marry me he says “I love you more than my child’s mother, losing you was not an option”…. They know what they feel and what they want. With regard to investigating the Pakistani man whom you’ve met online, I have no idea how to conduct an investigation of such a man. When people are ashamed of themselves or want to avoid a confrontation, they seemly drop off the face of the earth, so to speak. So that means he can never go back to his country. You’re not alone in being gullible. I dont know why he hasnt deleted me..dunno know why? Don’t let this guy mess you around. Do u think he is telling the truth? There are few. Therefore, I have learned South Asian culture in advance. You are a Filipino Muslim with a Pakistani boyfriend you’ve known since last year on the internet. I have yet to see or hear a Pakistani man GENUINELY loving someone other than themselves. If she happens to receive a comment that she feels is worthy of being an article, she will put it on as an article. I prefer someone who does not just want to marry me for sex, visas, or money. It’s best you say goodbye to him once and for all, so that you could heal. Women are also expected to marry a man of their parent's choice, follow Islam's code of dress and sacrifice their own dreams. “The real Pakistani man” who brings his culture to your life. Man is superior and woman is inferior in Pakistani culture. I put a link to your site on the above post/theme/article, as well. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. You’re just a meal ticket. For boys only, of course. Juat this evening I just follow his acc. Take a lesson from the story. I totally agree to stay away from online hook ups especially with a Pakistani man because it can be very devastating when found out that you are being used for visa or money. You certainly are a man of honor. As long as he still concern about what his family says, he concerns with his family pride and culture, he will bring gift or send the money to his family straight away whenever they ask for it, then he is not independent at all. Yes, this is true. Phone started to ringing from Pakistani number.I managed to pick up, and finally the young female voice question me I this phone is with me, and who I’m. Our relationship went smooth in the beginning until April of this year. And she said to the Pakistani man that she wouldn’t marry him, if the Pakistani fam members didn’t like her and agree with the marriage. When I first became Muslim, I thought all Muslim were trying to live Islam the way I wanted to. I took snaps on that picture and showed to my Pakistani friends and fellow colleagues and that occasion was their “wedding”. Go with him to the bank, to the office of the company that he works for, and to his accountant or tax agent with him. You have to do your research. I never leave unpaid bills! to learn more about Pakistani culture you can check the website of Mixed Marriage Community hereMarrying Pakistani, You can read about Pakistani family system and culture based on other marriage women’s experiences who married to Pakistani. he know that we will be happy if we will live alone Dubai. Don’t open yourself to temptation. The Pakistan number i have taken from his phone belongs to his wife and i have found his wife’s Skype name as well (but never add her on Skype), now am thinking if have to inform his wife and mother or not coz what he is doing here is not really nice and knowing he is a Muslim by default. I thought it is too quick.When, I went for check up, the doctor said- good news I got all clear , there is no tumor anymore, but if I want child I have 1 year. And they don’t give a sh*t about it. So being a fellow Palestinian isn’t enough. Most importantly, I don’t feel comfortable with us helping her to translate a personal document that’s between her husband and his other wife that Fatima wasn’t authorized to have. I first heard the saying, “A fish rots from the head” when I was watching an episode of “Scandal” on TV. So they got the bless already. That said, if you are a western woman, you are only here to read if there is a way to research these people better, because despite all the liars online, there must be someone out there who isn’t a scammer. A man can have sex with and want to be with a woman without having to be in love with her. But again the Social media thing, the thing that he cannot put our pic. So, whatever information he is feeding me, i merely believe on him as you can’t able to validate whether it’s true or not. To white lady but both had been married before or work in high professionSome of them are doctor and engineer and very well modern and not so much religious and namaz is out of way only they read on eid kind a thing so you. Stop all communication with that man. Get an independent translator and lawyer. Was happy to hear you back here but at the same time sorry to hear your agony. He came back to Dubai after 20 days and I was so happy coz from twice a week meeting it became every night then, he used to come and take me out for 2-3 hours along the beach side (our rendezvous). Too often as women we call other women offensive names but won’t call the men those same offensive names. they will go to meet girls family as well. May I ask is there any chance that he will refuse to do his culture or having multiple wife or it will never happen? Just accept that some men won’t treat you right and move on sooner than later. ??????? His mother and whole family were very insistent that they wanted my mother. I… wanted to give him a second chance to prove that he’s not all that bad. He used to remind me not to trust anybody unless it is proven by time as well as not to get lost in the glamorous world of Dubai. But I find it way too fast. We have plenty cases non Pakistani who married to Pakistani for more than 10 years in monogamous marriage as well. In July 2016, a young Pakistani man named Ihsan wrote an article in the UK-based gay e-zine Gay Star News about his experiences of being gay in Pakistan. Ask to speak to their friends and family members who are in Pakistan, as well. Some of the men think they can get you to change your mind after a little while and you’ll eventually file for him (because you’re so in love and will die without pleasing him). You are one of the smart ones. Hi Meena, Thank you for sharing your story. They are strongly connected to their culture and have a very strong family system. According to their society culture, I can say “Most Pakistani man” have mental illness problem, or I can say “Personality disorder”! They want to keep all their wealth in the family. My heart is really grieving noe to hear all of these things about them I thought he is the man of my dreams really we planned all that time until nownhe is waiting for me evryday sending voice msgs. If he asks you to put his picture on your social media, when you asks the same thing he will do that too. She said that her boyfriend still blurted out to her, a year after they had dated, that he will have an arranged marriage in Pakistan, eventually. As for white people, they should marry within their own race because white people will be extinct because they keep marrying outside their race -particularly white women. Based on what I’ve learned here on the blog, Pakistani men tend to go for younger women, not older ones. I have yet to meet one who does not lie. From what I understand, our beloved Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) first and only wife until she past away was 15 years older than him. You need to get yourself together. He’ll probably then drop you like a hot potato. but i guess his right. It lets you know that he doesn’t want the world to know that he is involved with you. They don’t really care about your feeling, they only care about your job as a wife and daughter in law. If you rely solely on your husband for support, MIL will dictate what you can or cannot have. Oh, yeah, he’ll pretend that you’re the love of his life, until he gets all that he wants from you. You’re better off that God directed your car away from that broken bridge but instead you’re crying and would rather have fallen into the river and drowned? It’s very informative and I’m sure it will help many. He let me feels like am his queen, fairy and boss as he used a lot of flowering words to me, so i feel so special then. But no other man allowed to see me. Therefore we all are different. I should’ve blocked him right there and then, like I normally would. Ana is correct these men are con artist and they are looking fishing.I actually have called it that many times on the blog over the years.There Goal is to get a European woman so they can marry get the greencard or citizenship then divorce and go back and bring their cousin to their country.The families see the foreign woman as a whore and expendable.Also u need to understand something else.U being from South America I think Columbia is a poor country as compared to USA or Canada,Germany,France etc.. so it makes me wonder if he had more sinister plans for u.These men have been known to take women to Pakistan and sell them into Prostitution.U can youtube it.My point is these men r looking for big Fish so consider yourself lucky! I’d like to help you, but what you’re looking for is beyond the realm of my expertise. The most painful part is that: the person whom you loved most is the one who will hurt you most as well. I pray Allah blesses you all You’ve got a wonderful friend and Abdullah_Pakistani apparently has a wonderful friend in you. He said that he’s not all that bad. I’m assuming you are not Muslim either, which is another strike against you. Sounds to me that he’s just jerking you around. And unfortunately, you will find out how dominant he is after the wedding. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. In Pakistani community, the brotherhood’s bond is very strong and the guys will share tips and tricks to solve their mate’s issue/problem. I am single but I am attracted to him but he says his wife is not going to come here he does not want the marriage anymore. How would she even know he’s been sleeping with other women? All Muslim women should expect her husband may one day become polygamous. Villagers watch 24/7 on TV different dramas, films and wish to have the same things in their lives, shown on the TV. Not sure whether he was looking for a greencard from me as he told me he was trying to move to Canada under a business visa and that he’d like to send me a visa when he settled there but then he said that he would come over to Colombia just for me because he couldn’t wait anymore to meet me and that I should tell my parents about it. I’m Europian and British. He’s very Pakistani (in his treatment, mentality, rules, etc) with my mother and completely American with his other wife. I used to help him in his business earlier in a way that am printing out his invoices, sending quotations to his clients in his behalf using my personal mail, inquiring material for his project, giving him help when he ran out of funds (small amounts only) and used to wash and press his clothes. I agree that one needs to investigate thoroughly before jumping head long into a relationship with a Pakistani man, if she is a foreigner. A typical Pakistani is the religious mind.